Naraku's Average Life
by Mage-of-Souls
Summary: The average life of Naraku isn't as glamerous as it may seem. It's pretty funny! NEW! Crossover in chpt7!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my third Inuyasha fic I've done. The first one you all loved, second no one read, and this third one will knock your socks off. Get ready for some hysterical jokes!

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I don't own Inuyasha in any way or form.

**Naraku's average Life**

**Chapter 1: Push to Enter**

We see the evil and sinister Naraku sitting in his home after a long day of terrorizing the country. He relaxes in his room.

Naraku: Ah, what a good day. Slaughtered villagers, pissed off Inuyasha, ah, this is the life.

Suddenly there comes a crash and part of his roof bursts. Inuyasha jumps into the room and pulls out his tetsuiga.

Inuyasha: I've found you Naraku!

Naraku: Dam it Inuyasha! I just fixed that roof from the last time you broke it! Now I have to do it all over again! It's really hard to find the right wood for the job! It has to be mahogany or it won't match!

Inuyasha: Uh…don't you have subjects or something? Last time I came you had a ton of villagers.

Naraku: Oh yeah! I did didn't I? Well…I killed them.

Inuyasha: For the fun of it?

Naraku: No…Well it was fun…I did it for target practice.

Inuyasha: Well you won't have any problems once I'm through with you.

Naraku thinking: _Crap! Gotta think of something!_

Naraku: Hey, check out these baby pictures of Jaken.

Inuyasha takes on quick stare and flips.

Inuyasha: OH GOD! IT BURNS! MY EYES! MY EYES! I'M GOING BLIND!

Inuyasha immediately retreats back to the others.

Naraku: Phew, now back to business.

* * *

Later that evening Kaugra, Kanna and Kohaku enters their master's room. Naraku had just finished something he was quite proud of.

Naraku: Look here you three. I just designed every door in the place with a device that will make all foes use it.

Kohaku: That's just a pull sign.

Naraku: Hey, I wasn't asking for an opinion here moron! Any way, they will read the sign, they will use the door.

Kanna: No.

Naraku: Hey! Who's the guy that made all of you! I'm not dumb…except when I made Kaugra. She's an idiot.

Kaugra: I KNEW YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

Kaugra then runs off. The two others stare at Naraku.

Naraku: …She'll get over it!

A sudden burst comes from the roof as Koga, the wolf demon enters.

Koga: Your goanna pay for what you did to my clan!

Naraku flips: WHAT THE HELL! I JUST PUT A PULL SIGN ON EVERY DOOR IN THIS ENTIRE HOUSE! AND YET EVERY ONE STILL USES THE ROOF!

Koga: What sign?

Naraku points to a door: THAT SIGN!

Koga stares at it for a moment and then turns back to Naraku.

Koga: Uhh…I can't read.

Naraku: WHAT! WHAT STUPID MORON DOESN"T KNOW HOW TO READ!

Koga: Hey! I live in the woods! How's a guy supposed to learn? Besides, I've been doing great without reading.

Naraku slams his head on the wall a couple of times and then goes back to Koga.

Naraku: See this? It says push to enter. That means you push the door and it will open for you. Got that MORON!

Koga: Yeah.

Naraku: Good!

Koga now in fighting position: Now, back to business!

Naraku: Look! A photo of Jaken as a baby!

Koga flips just like Inuyasha.

Koga: YAH! MY EYES! THEY'VE BEEN SCARRED! MUST CLAW OFF THE FILTY IMAGE!

Naraku: Well, I think that went over well.

* * *

The next day, Naraku was at the breakfast table with his two incarnations.

Naraku: This is going to be a good day for us.

Kaugra: You're finally going to kill Inuyasha and the others, take over the world and set me free.

Naraku: What? Hell no! It's going to be a good day because no one is going to use my roof as an entrance.

Kohaku suddenly entered the room with urgent news.

Kohaku: Naraku, Inuyasha and the other's are on their way.

Naraku: Good! Now let's see if Inuyasha's as stupid as the wolf.

A sudden crash came from down the hall and Naraku's patience crumbled.

Naraku: DAMMIT!

He immediately rushed over to the noise.

Naraku: Inuyasha! I thought we went over this last time!

Naraku turned the corned to see Inuyasha holding a door in his hands.

Naraku: WHAT THE HELL! It says push to enter.

Inuyasha: Yeah, I did that but it wouldn't budge. So I pushed harder and it broke.

Naraku?

Kaugra: You put the sign on the wrong side. It's pull to enter outside and push inside.

Naraku: Grr! You're UGLY!

Kaugra cries all the way to her room leaving some surprised faces staring at him.

Naraku: No biggie. I do this to her all the time…look at this Jaken baby picture!

Inuyasha: AHHHH! NO MORE BURN! NO MORE BURN!

Miroku: OH GOD! IT'S SO HIDEOUS! MUST BEAT MYSELF WITH NEARBY TREE!

Kagome: IT'S TOO MUCH! AHHHH!

Shippo: YAHHHH! IT'S….SO GROSS!

Sango: MY EYES ARE SOILED BY THE PICTURE. MUST…BASH HEAD… UNTILL….THE IMAGE IN….MY HEAD….DISAPPEARS!

The group runs off into the distance, except for Miroku who is bashing his head against a tree.

Naraku: Wow. That was easy.

Naraku grabs a pillow and a snack and begins to watch the monk beat himself.

Naraku: This is better then cable.

* * *

Three days pass and Naraku finally fixes all the doors so you push them to enter. He now relaxes in his room ranting to Kanna about stupid stuff.

Naraku: And that's why apple pie is better than cherry.

Kohaku suddenly enters the room with news.

Kohaku: Master, there's an intruder heading this way.

Naraku: I just hope he USES THE DOOR!

A sudden creak was heard down the hall meaning the thing that Naraku wished to happen. Someone used the door! Then someone ran top Naraku's room revealing himself to be Koga.

Koga: That door was no match for me! Now, time to put you in your grave.

Naraku: Not you again. Can't you see that I don't really want to fight someone with a reading level lower than a peanut?

Koga: Hey! That's I didn't come here to be insulted. I came here for revenge! And besides, I'm taking reading lessons.

Naraku: From whom? Oh let me guess. You're learning from those 'learn to read' tapes and those 'I Can Read' books. Hah! That's rich!

Koga: That's it! You're dead!

Naraku pulls out the picture again: Feel the wrath of my ugly baby technique!

Koga: Ahh! It makes me want to drown kitties and eat puppies!

Koga immediately runs out of the room.

Naraku: That took care of him.

**Bang, bang, bang, bang!**

Naraku: Ugh! Now what!

Naraku goes down the hall to see Koga trying to get out the door.

Koga: AHHHH! I push but the door won't open! It's mocking me! It's MOCKING me.

Naraku pulls the door open and there's a long silence.

Naraku: You're so dumb! Its pull from the inside!

Koga: …EH? LIFE MAKES NO SENSE!

Koga runs out the door and passes Miroku still bashing his head on a tree. Naraku gives out a sigh and watches the Monk beat himself…again.

Naraku: I love traumatizing people.

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Whoop! It's done! There's more on the way! Keep reading! Tell me how you liked it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alright! I finally have done the unthinkable! I've created another Naraku joke! Watch and be amazed.

I don't own Inuyasha in any way or form.

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**Chapter.2: I LIKE PIE**

In Naraku's castle, something's cooking…literally.

Naraku: AT LAST! The time has almost arrived.

Kohaku: What are you so excited about my lord?

Naraku: My greatest creation yet.

Kohaku's mind: Must be another incarnation. It must be powerful for Naraku to be so happy about it.

DING

Kohaku: Umm…was that a kitchen timer.

Naraku: Yay! It's done.

Kohaku: Uhh…what are you exactly making?

Naraku: Well, the greatest thing ever…duh!

Kohaku: And that would be…

Naraku pulls something out of his oven and shoves it in Kohaku's face.

Naraku: PIE!

Kohaku: Pie?

Naraku: Yes!

Kohaku: You're a sissy.

Naraku: WHAT!

Kohaku: Just look at you! The greatest evil in the feudal era cooks desserts.

Naraku: Can't I have a hobby?

Kohaku: Not with that apron on you cant.

Naraku sets the pie down to cool by a window and begins to yell at Kohaku.

Naraku: You ungrateful little bastard! I'll have you know this apron was the last one in stock and was really expensive and…and…………and I just made myself look even worse.

Kohaku: And here I thought you were making another incarnation. But no, you were playing cook. Making pie.

Naraku: Hey! If you'd like to know, this is a very special pie!

Kohaku: What's so special about it?

Naraku: It's an evil pie!

Kohaku: May I ask why?

Naraku: IT'S PECAN! MUAHAHA!

Kohaku to himself: Oh My God, I'm serving an Idiot.

Naraku: HEY! Who brought you back from the dead and fed you, clothed you, and put a roof above your head? Well……….Yeah! That's what I thought! I was going to give you a slice of this pie but since you're SO RUDE, I'm eating it my…WHAT THE HELL!

Kohaku: Did the pie spoil or something?

Naraku: NO! It's gone!

Kohaku turns to see an empty window: It probably tipped over.

Naraku sticks his head out but sees nothing: No. It's not there. AHHH! Someone has stolen my Pie! But who!

Kohaku: My lord, I think you've had…

Naraku: I've got it!

Kohaku: Huh?

Naraku: Squirrels!

Kohaku: Squirrels my lord?

Naraku: Yes! They ran off with my pie! Those blasted vermin.

Kohaku: Oookeeeaay…My lord, that can't be true because #1: a squirrel wouldn't be able to grab something that big.

Naraku: It was tons of them!

Kohaku: Ugh…#2: they have no place to hide.

Naraku: THERE HIDING THERE!

Kohaku follows Naraku's finger pointing to a dead tree.

Kohaku: Umm…my lord. That tree is dead.

Naraku: It's pretending to be!

Kohaku: How can a tree play dead?

Naraku: With there tree powers! That's what makes them so sneaky! They pretend to be dead but then WHAM! They eat all the bird seed in the bird feeders!

Kohaku: Fine…the third thing is that no mortal creature can make it past your miasma.

Naraku: Not if they were DEMON SQUIRRELS!

Kohaku: Are there even such things as demon squirrels?

Naraku snaps his fingers and the tree blows up: Not any more!

Kohaku: I think you should take your calm pills.

Naraku: I think you need to shut up or I kill you.

* * *

Later that evening, Naraku made another pie.

Ding

Naraku pulls out the new pie from the oven and sets it by the window.

Naraku: Nothing better to do than make a pie after killing hoards of people, especially with these penguin oven mitts.

Naraku voicing Penguin 1: Oh Naraku! You are the greatest!

Naraku: Yes I am.

Naraku voicing Penguin 2: You're the best demon in the whole world. Inuyasha stands no chance.

Naraku: Oh stop it. Your making me blush.

P 1: It's all true my lord. You're so much stronger…

P 2: And hotter!

Naraku: Oh thank you!

P 1: You must bake cookies with us sometime.

Naraku: Sorry, but I made plans to do that with Mr. and Mrs. Pig.

Kohaku: Hehe…can I join too?

Naraku immediately throws off his mitts and turns around at Kohaku.

Naraku: It's not what it looks like………………how long have you been there?

Kohaku: Long enough.

Naraku: Uh…………………Breathe a word of this and I kill you.

Kohaku: You're such a sissy. Playing with oven mitts. Next I'll be hearing you watch cooking channels and home decor shows.

T.V.: We now return to Designer for Home, where we are just about to make Easter eggs for any time of the year.

Naraku destroys the TV.

Naraku: Heh…… that was the wrong channel.

Kohaku: Riiiiiiiight….sissy.

Naraku: ARGH! I have no time for this! I'm busy making my pie! Better than the last one!

Kohaku: And it would be better because…

Naraku: IT'S CHERRY!

Kohaku under his breath: Cherries aren't the only fruits in this room.

Naraku: AHHHHHHHH!

Kohaku: Woah……….You just screamed………like a little sissy girl!

Naraku: MY PIE IS GONE! Those damn demon squirrels!

Kohaku: Didn't you blow up the tree?

Naraku: They must be able to regenerate! Come Kohaku! We're going to the store.

Kohaku: Why?

Naraku: To get more pie crust….AND TO GET RODENT REPELLENT!

* * *

Meanwhile, a tad bit away.

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru, what took you so long?

Sesshomaru licking his cherry filling fingers: I had some business to take care of.

Jaken: Pie again?

Sesshomaru: I just love ruining Naraku's life.

Rin: Why do you go through all that trouble for pie?

Sesshomaru: Because…I like pie.

* * *

Another chapter done! Yay! I'm going to write more of these so keep reading.


	3. Chapter 3

When you thought I was done…think again! That's right! I'm back with another grand chapter of this story. Sorry if I took too long.

I don't own Inuyasha

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**Chpt.3 Parent to Teacher**

Naraku waits quietly at the elementary school by the door of a class room. Suddenly it opens revealing a young woman.

Teacher: Ah, Mr. Naraku, I'm so glad you made it.

Naraku: Just tell me what she did.

Naraku and the teacher enter the class room.

Naraku: WOAH! Look at these frickinn chairs! They're so small! Who could fit in these!

Teacher: Umm, your daughter Kanna.

Naraku: Oh…I guess so.

Takes seat next to Kanna by teacher's desk: So, what seems to be the trouble?

Teacher gives out a sigh: Well Mr. Naraku, it seems that your daughter is having some trouble at school.

Naraku: Trouble? GOD DAMN IT KANNA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO! YOU BROUGHT ONE OF YOUR PETS TO SCHOOL AGAIN!

* * *

Two weeks ago…

Teacher: Okay class, today is pet day where we bring in our pets. Let's start with Billy and work our way down.

Billy: This is my bunny Fluff. He likes to eat lettuce.

Amy: This is my turtle Skippy. He's my best friend.

Kanna: …

Teacher: Um…Kanna…what is that…thing? Is that…your pet?

Kanna: This is an incarnation of my dad. He lets it loose on solicitors and hornet nests. Daddy hasn't given it a name so I call him Mr. Wallaby.

Mr. Wallaby: KREEEH!

Kanna: He likes to eat human flesh and he is my friend.

Joey: Your bet is ugly.

Mr. Wallaby roars at kid.

Joey: Um…I think I wet my pants.

* * *

Naraku: I HAD TO GET RID OF THAT THING THANKS TO YOU! I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT EAT INUYASHA!

Teacher: No, Mr. Naraku, she hasn't brought in another pet. She's being bullied at school.

Naraku: Oooh…is that all? Wait…WHAT! MY DAUGHTER IS BEING BULLIED AT SCHOOL! HOW DARE THEY!

Teacher: Mr. Naraku please calm down! Yes, I have a problem with the bullying but Kanna has been retaliating in horrible ways.

Naraku: Well good for her!

Teacher: She steals the kid's souls.

Naraku: I bet they were asking for it.

Teacher: WHAT CAN BE SO BAD THAT SHE HAS TO STEAL THEIR SOULS!

Naraku: I don't know but I bet it's funny. She does give them back right?

Teacher: Not until she gives each one of them wedgies.

Naraku: Ow…that's pretty painful. Well I can help you with her behavior. I know something that keeps her from being to rambunctious.

Teacher: And what's that?

Naraku: Ritalin.

Teacher: YOU'RE DRUGGIN YOUR KID! NO WONDER SHE ACTS ALL DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME!

Naraku: Hey, their subscribed for her. I just give her a bit more than the label tells me to. Like I always say. STICK IT TO THE MAN!

Teacher: You know the reason kids tease Kanna is because she acts depressed all the time.

Naraku: Really?

Teacher: Yes, and if it's because she's on medication, why don't we try taking her off of it for a while. See how things go from there.

Naraku: I don't know. Maybe we should just give her more.

Teacher: JUST TAKE HER OFF!

* * *

Next day…

Kid: Wow, Look at Kanna go!

Teacher: Where's Kanna?

Kid: On the jungle gym…no now on the swings…now she's just hopping around.

Kanna: OH LITTLE BUNNY FUFU WAS HOPPING THROUGH THE FOREST!

Teacher: Whoa…no wonder Naraku gave her extra.

Naraku arrives: I'm here to pick up Kanna from…oh CRAP! See! This is exactly why I didn't want her off of the stuff! KANNA GET DOWN FROM THERE WE'RE GOING HOME!

Kanna: LITTLE BUNNY FUFU!

Naraku: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT FUFU! I'LL BURY HIM IN THE BACK YARD LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!

Naraku pulls out of his pocket something.

Naraku: Kanna, want a candy bar?

Kanna: Yesyesyesyes….

Naraku drops it into a box: There it is! Get it!

Kanna immediately jumps into the box and Naraku quickly shuts it and duck tapes the lid.

Teacher: Is that safe?

Naraku: Dunno, she probably has enough air for the trip back home.

Teacher: Shouldn't you give her some air holes?

* * *

That's the end of this chapter. Don't worry, there's more to come! 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey look! Brought back by popular demand is another chapter. I've stopped writing it in script format so I won't get in trouble. Thanks for watching my back.

I don't own Inuyasha.

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**Chapter 4 Beware of Sessy Fans**

Naraku awoke to a bright and sunny morning in his deadly castle. He walked down the hall with joy and a spring in his step.

"Oh what a joyous morning" He said to himself, "The poison insects are buzzing, Inuyasha's dreams are shattered, I have a lot of jewel shards and the walls are covered in graffiti. I'd say that…MY WALLS ARE COVERED IN GRAFFITI!"

He rushed to the wall where his precious wood was covered in spray-paint.

"DAMN IT ALL!"

"Something wrong my lord?" Kohaku asked in an annoyed tone, "Did your muffins burn again?"

"Someone vandalized my wall! Who could have done such a thing!"

Kohaku tapped Naraku's shoulder and pointed to the graffiti which said: **Sesshomaru was here! Half breeds SUCK!**

There was a long pause before Naraku said something. "WHAT! You thinking I'm stupid or something!"

"No." But as a matter of fact he did. Ever since the incidents with the so called DEMON SQUIRRELS, Kohaku thought his master was a loony.

Naraku paced around the room for a bit. "Okay, we have to get rid of Sesshomaru somehow. Someway of keeping him out! I GOT IT! Quick Kohaku, were going to the home improvement store!"

"You need more bright pink paint for the bathroom."

"No, but put that on the list."

* * *

Later…

"Welcome to the Home Improv-Mart, where we carry all your improving needs." Greeted a worker, "How can I help y'all?"

"Y'all? Is that even a word?" Kohaku asked but was pushed to the side by Naraku.

"Were here to get something that can get rid of a pest."

"What kind of pest are we talking about?" The man asked, "Is it like a possum or a prairie dog?"

"More like a demon dog."

"Full breed or half."

"Full but I also have problems with half."

"Okay, I think I have your solution. Problem is its top secret so…"

"Oh, sure." Naraku turned to Kohaku, "Here's a cherry bomb, throw it in the toilet Isle."

"How mature do you take me for?"

"Not much."

"Works for me." And with that Kohaku ran off.

The man led Naraku to a strange giant metal cage with some tiny air holes in it.

"See this? It's the new thing on the market. Got its own infomercial and everything. It's the only way to get rid of vermin like the one you have. Just follow the instructions and it should be fine. It's the natural way to get rid of dog demons."

"Excellent!" Naraku laughed, "I'll buy it!"

The loudspeakers came on saying. "Cleanup in the toilet isle! Cleanup in the toilet isle please!"

Kohaku returned soaking wet. "What? You were right, I'm not that mature."

* * *

Later that day…

Naraku was busy digging a huge moat all around the castle. He then dropped the huge cage in there and released whatever was inside. Screams were now flowing.

"What the hell did you buy?" Kaugra asked.

Naraku just laughed in triumph. "Protection against that Damn Sesshomaru."

"What is it?"

"Not what is it, who are they."

"What?"

"They are Sessy fan girls." Naraku announced, "Sesshomaru can't stand them. They'll rip him to shreds."

"Really."

"Watch." Naraku pulled out a Sesshomaru plushy and dangled it above the pit. "Look girls, it's a Sessy plushy. You want it?"

"EEEYYAAH!" The girls immediately grabbed it and began to fight over it against one another. There soon was only a ball of cotton left.

All that Kaugra could say was "…WOW!"

Later that night Naraku watched with delight at his new moat and what pain it would bring Sesshomaru.

"How do you know he'll come again?" Kohaku asked.

"Of course he'll come!" Naraku said, "I just cleaned off his last work of art. He'll come back to reclaim his territory. All dogs do it!"

Suddenly, from the darkness, arose Sesshomaru with two cans of spray-paint and a board. He walked toward the moat looking at what was inside.

"Aint so tough now are ya?" Naraku laughed while doing a dance, "Better go back home to ya mama! They'll tear you apart!"

Naraku pulled out the board.

"OOOH! I'm so scared. Goanna give me that hunk of wood as a piece offering?"

Instead, Sesshomaru placed it on either side of the moat, making a bridge for him to cross. He then quickly sprayed something on the wall and left.

"GYAH!" Naraku cried, "How did he!"

"Note to the wise." Kohaku began, "Make a moat more than three feet wide."

"CRAP!"

The next morning, the sky was sunny, the poisonous insects were buzzing and the smell of spray paint hung in the air from the graffiti that said: **NARAKU IS A HALF BREED FRUIT CUP

* * *

**

Alright that's it for now. I'll keep writing though so keep reading. I finished this one within an hour. PRAISE ME!


	5. Chapter 5

Another chapter just for you guys! Hope you are ready because this one will make you fall of your seats!

* * *

**Chpt.5 Like, Hippies**

**BREEP BREE BREEP** went Naraku's alarm clock in the morning. Damn did he hate those pieces of junk. He immediately grabbed it and smashed it into a thousand pieces. Looking at the contents got him even grumpier. He strode out of his room to see Kagura.

"Morning." She said as he slammed the clock into a trash can.

"Never…give me one of those things for Christmas AGAIN!"

He then let out a sigh, "I need coffee."

He immediately walked to the kitchen and brewed some java into his favorite mug that said '#1 demon'. He suddenly noticed a noise.

"Kohaku!" Naraku cried.

"Yes my lord?" The boy asked entering the room.

"Did someone leave the radio on?"

"What? You called me to ask me that? I don't know, go check. It's in the next room."

"Hey! That's why I have you here. To do crap like this! So do it!"

Kohaku disappeared for a moment then returned. "No, it's off."

"Then what is this music?"

"And what's that smell?"

Naraku sniffed the air, "It smells and sounds like its coming from outside."

Both rushed out to see something so terrible.

"What the!" Kohaku said.

"EH!" Said Naraku.

"Cool!" Kagura said.

Surrounding Naraku's back yard and front was a gigantic swarm of people. Each playing a guitar, sitting in circles and smoking. They were none other than…hippies.

"Dammit!" Naraku bellowed, "How could they have gotten through the poisonous miasma!"

"Probably from their own poisonous smoke." Kohaku pointed out. "If they can last on that stuff, there's no telling what they can handle."

"What about my army of Sessy fans!"

"They won't attack unless they have something to do with Sesshomaru." Kagura said, "They're hippies, not otaku girls."

"SHIT! OH GAWD! ONE OF THEM IS COMING OVER! Brace yourselves everyone, their voices are like sirens."

"Yo man." The hippie greeted.

"OH GOD! IT'S TERRIBLE!" Naraku cried in agony, "Its voice kills my brains!"

"Hey man," The hippy calmly said, "You need to, like, chill and like, breathe."

"Yeah my lord." Kohaku agreed, "It's not like they can kill you."

"True…BUT I CAN KILL THEM! GET OFF MY LAWN YA DAMN HIPPIES!"

"Stop!" Kagura cried holding off Naraku's attack. "Kanna went outside this morning. She could still be here around the hippies."

"MY GOD! KANNA WILL BECOME ONE OF THEM!" Naraku's mind was now plagued by horrible things.

"Naraku," Kagura gasped, "I never knew you cared!"

"What are you talking about? If Kanna becomes a hippy, I can't use her to kill Inuyasha. Hippies are tree hugging, ying-yang peace corp. freaks! She'd never kill again!"

"Um…OK…why don't we start looking for her?" Kohaku suggested.

"Good idea." Naraku complimented, "You guys go look in the hippy meadow while I go finish my coffee."

"WHAT?" Kohaku and Kagura cried.

"I have more important things to do…like…eat breakfast…" Naraku immediately rushed into his kitchen to see hippies. "OH GOD! YOURE EVERYWHERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

The female hippy began to explain, "We like, totally got the munchies and we saw this fridge and we thought, hey man we could make nachos!"

"Why are you taking the rest of the food too!"

"We like, need to bring the others like a meal. And with all of this we can make some radical pita pockets."

Naraku was immediately dumbfounded that he immediately left back to his backyard.

"They raided the fridge didn't they?" Kagura asked.

"SHUT IT! Let's just find Kanna."

* * *

They immediately started searching for her through the deadly hippies, but no white haired girl was seen around these long haired freaks.

"Hey little guy." A female hippy greeted Kohaku, "You wanna like join hands and sing with us."

"No."

"But it will cleanse you of all your troubles."

"Will it cleanse me of the sin I created when I killed my whole village and left my sister to wander the earth in sorrow?"

"…"

"Yeah I didn't think so. Back off lady!"

* * *

"Hey! Fan lady!" A hippy cried to Kagura. "Come join our dance circle. Were finding enlightenment through dance and next we try levitation."

"…"

"What do you say man?"

"First, when's the last time you took a bath? You stink! Next, I can already fly whenever I want to with a feather. It's not "Cool" It's dumb and boring! If you really want to levitate, go fly on a plane stupid!"

"I'm sensing bad vibes from you."

"Oh really!"

* * *

"Greetings fellow brother!" A hippy greeted Naraku.

"Hey! I am not your brother! Next, get a haircut man! You look like a girl!"

"What about you man?" The hippy pointed to Naraku's hair.

"Don't mock my hair! I'm nothing like you damn hippies!"

"Naraku!" Kohaku cried rushing towards him, "We found Kanna!"

"And that's why you're so depressed the entire time girl!" The hippy finally finished.

"Give me your soul." Kanna said quietly.

"But why do you want my soul man? It's because you don't have your own yet, because society has killed your soul. But now you shall be reborn…AS WHITE SUN!"

"Then can I have your soul?"

"You won't need my soul anymore, after you're reborn."

"But I'm an incarnation of an evil demon."

"And that demon's name is corporate business."

"HEY!" Naraku yelled punching the hippy in the nose. "STOP SPREADING YOUR HIPPY COOTIES ON MY INCARNATION! Kanna? Did they destroy your non emotional existence? Did they show you how to feel compassion or color in rainbows?"

"I want souls."

Naraku immediately grabbed the girl. "HORRAY! You're still the lifeless body I remember! This makes me so happy!"

"Sir!" Kohaku cried, "More hippies are arriving from the north! What do we do? We'll kill the lawn if we destroy every single hippy!"

"Shoot!" Naraku cursed, "I'm getting best lawn of the year if it kills me! We'll just have to find a way to get rid of these guys…I got it!"

* * *

"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered, "Who are these people?"

"Their called hippies." Kagome moaned as the hippies started braiding their hair.

Miroku tried to greet them with open arms, "Will you bare my children young lady."

"Yeah, if you join me in my travels to find my spirit animal."

"SCORE!"

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter. Hippies…so funny…so weird…I apologies if any of you are hippies.Oh yeah, a pita pocket is pita bread with food stuffed in it. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone! Guess what? I'm still writing more of this story! Everyone bow down to me now! Now everyone dance! Now everyone sit down and read this story! This one took way too long to make…SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

* * *

**Chpt.6 Science Fair**

Naraku was basking in the darkness of the moon as he slashed another human to pieces.

"AH!" He said happily, "Nothing like chopping people into little pieces makes you so at peace." He turned to see Kanna. "Oh, whatcha got there?" He pointed to a giant papier-mâché volcano.

"Science fair project." She replied.

"Oh yeah, the fair's coming up. Well…I don't really care, now go away. I have more people to kill…" Kanna still was there,"WHAT!"

"Volcanoes suck." She said in a monotone voice.

"Awww, you don't like your project? Yeah, I can understand, because you keep using my morning paper for that dumb thing!"

"…"

"I'll tell you what. Since I like you more than Kagura, because she's a whiny idiot, I'll help you make your project better."

Soon, Kanna found her volcano stuffed with dead bodies of the people Naraku just killed.

"This is so much better!" Naraku said looking at his work. "When the volcano explodes, guts and pieces of people will come on out. Just like in the rated R movies. I know how much kids just love rated R movies!"

"Umm…Lord Naraku?" Kohaku asked approaching, "It's eleven at night. What the hell are you doing?"

"SCIENCE PROJECT!"

"Oh." Kohaku stared at the volcano, "I see…It does have your touch to it. But can you tell me what do dead bodies in a volcano have to do with science?"

"I dunno…BUT ITS AWESOME!"

"Riiiiiiiight." Kohaku replied rolling his eyes.

"Still sucks." Kanna said.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT SUCKS!" Naraku hollered, "It's got blood, guts, a volcano…"

"Your one hot chick away from making an action movie." Kohaku said.

"OF COURSE!" Naraku gasped, "Someone, get Kagura out here. We'll dye her hair blonde and make her wear some really hot top with shorts."

"Um Lord Naraku. This isn't film class…it's a science project."

"Oh…right…well…slaughter is a science…and an art."

There was a long pause from Kohaku, "You're a very sick bastard."

"Oh shut up!"

"You know, I've been doing some spying on the competition and it looks like that the toughest to beat is Jimmy who has a rotating solar system.

Naraku twitched by this. "This Jimmy…is he Jimmy Patterson?"

Kohaku nodded.

"Then that means he's the son of Mike Patterson?"

"Yup."

Naraku then burst into flaming anger, "DAMN THAT MIKE PATTERSON! HE TOOK MY LAWN MOWER AND NEVER GAVE IT BACK!"

"Didn't you try sleeping with his wife?"

"SHUT IT! HE'S THE EVIL ONE! NOT ME! KANNA, WE ARE GOING TO GO ALL OUT ON THIS ONE!"

"Yay…" Kanna said with a monotone voice.

* * *

The next day, the science fair began. All the kids prepared their projects, especially Kanna whose project was covered by a huge blanket. Naraku gave out a sickly laugh that freaked out everyone.

"HAHAHAH! At last! Mike Paterson will never forget this day!"

"Umm…my lord," Kohaku whispered, "Everyone is staring at us."

"Let them!" Naraku laughed, "They will all know of my great power."

"Rrrrrriiiiiiiiight." Kohaku took two steps back from his master and pretended he didn't even know him.

"Attention everyone!" Said a woman with a microphone, "The judging is about to begin."

"Good luck neighbor." Mr. Patterson said to Naraku before he went to his son.

"UP YOURS!" Naraku growled, "Urgh! I hate that guy. He always tries to insult me. BUT HE WAS TOO SLOW! HAHAHA!"

"Oh god!" Kohaku moaned, "Well at least he's not doing his victory dance…Oh god he is. Just kill me now."

Soon, the judges had moved toward Kanna's project. Kanna immediately pulled off the cloth to reveal a giant demon in a cage.

"My science project is how demons fuse with other demons." Kanna said.

"Oh…my…god," One of the judges gasped, "I think it's trying to talk.

"Kill…me…" The creature coughed.

"HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT!" Naraku hollered as he beat it with a broom.

"Watch as I introduce this small demon to the big one." Kanna opened a box that had a tiny demon inside. "Inside this tiny demon is a jewel shard as well. If I give it to the big demon, watch what will happen."

Kanna threw the tiny demon into the cage and let it be ripped to shreds by the big one.

"Wow Naraku! Those are some great effects."

"Yeah! YOU WISH YOU HAD THEM FOR YOUR PROJECT PATTERSON!" Naraku hollered, "Oh yeah, I still have it!"

"I swear if you do the victory dance one more time, I'm selling my jewel shard to street gypsies." Kohaku warned.

Once the big one finished devouring the little one it transformed into a huge demon with bat wings and all this other stuff that I didn't want to write down. Use your Imagination.

"HAHAHA!" The demon hollered, "I must feed on your puny souls!"

AAAAAAAHHHHH everyone cried as they ran in horror from the beast.

* * *

Later that night, Naraku placed a first prize trophy on the shelf.

"That was some good work you did Kanna." He complimented.

"But didn't you make that demon?" Kagura asked.

"…You're ugly!"

"WAAAAAAH!" Kaugra immediately rushed to her room.

"Either way," Naraku continued, "Kanna still got first place."

"That was because of a technicality." Kohaku corrected. "All other participants were eaten."

"But was Mr. Patterson eaten?"

"Obviously!"

"Then everyone wins! ESPECIALLY ME!" And Naraku did his victory dance.

* * *

How's that for some funny stuff! I still got it. Sorry if it took a while. I have a couple of other stories I'm doing at the same time. Sorry for delays but they are worth it. Reviews make me happy! 


	7. Chapter 7

HEY EVERYONE! I was thinking. Sorry for the long wait everyone but its worth it. You guys know my other series with Inuyasha, four souls and nine tails, where they meet the Naruto gang? I thought 'wouldn't it be funny if I stuck something like that here? Get ready cause it's about to begin!

* * *

**Chpt.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Neighbors**

It was a pleasant morning for Naraku. Everything was great. He had his morning coffee in the kitchen, he stared out the window for a sec, and then Kohaku entered giving him the news for today.

"Master," Kohaku greeted handing him his paper, "The paperboy demands his monthly pay.

"Damn that paperboy!" Naraku snarled, "You better kill him."

"If I do that another will get hired and so on."

"Crap…if he comes over; tell him I'm not here." Naraku looked at the paper thoroughly, "Crap, nothing good."

"Oh by the way," Kohaku began, "Someone moved in next door."

Naraku dropped the paper and immediately rushed out to see another home besides his. "AWWWW CRAP! They better not ask to borrow anything!"

Kohaku stared at the new castle long and hard, "Hey, there's a symbol on the doors…looks like a music note."

"SHIT!" Naraku cursed, "CHOIR FOLK! Or worse…A FAMILY BAND!"

"A family band?" Kohaku stared at the castle noticing people around it. "My lord, it seems that these people are henchmen."

"No there not!" Naraku assured the boy, "They are the backup singers."

"Rrrriiiiiight…and since when do backup singers carry pointy objects and sit in trees?"

"Well…the pointy objects are instruments. Now if you'll excuse me!"

"But sir! I think these people are…"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" And with that Naraku stormed off.

* * *

Later, Naraku was having a hot bath…with a PINK rubber ducky.

"Ahhhhh….Nothing like a bath to calm someone. Isn't that right, Ms. Sparkles?"

"Oh yes!" Said Naraku, voicing the pink duck, "And what goes better in a bath than… Mr. Sprinkle Rainbow!"

Naraku grabbed a blue ducky and started voicing it, "Hello Naraku!"

"Oh my!" Naraku happily giggled, "This has to be one of my happiest days!"

"**NINJA SWARM!"** Suddenly something burst into the bathroom throwing stuff everywhere.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Kagura asked Kohaku.

"Playing Sudoku." He replied, "I have to keep myself sane."

"From what?"

**EEEEEEEEYAAAAAHHHHHH!**

"Him"

Kaugra looked from where the scream came from, "He screams like a girl."

"I know."

"KOHAKU!" Naraku cried as he bounded down the stairs.

"Did Mr. Boat have a fight with Mr. Battle ship again?" Kohaku asked, "If it is, I don't wanna hear about it."

"Those…those…those people…they aren't a family band."

"I tried to tell you before but you didn't listen," Kohaku folded the newspaper and stood up from his seat, "There ninjas."

"…why is Kagura here? Shouldn't you be in the attic or something?"

"FOCOUS NARAKU, FOUCUS!" Kohaku snarled. "These ninjas are a big threat to our territory."

"Tell me about it, they took over the bathroom. I could barely get my clothes in time…but one of us didn't make it." Naraku pulled out a little blue ducky with its head ripped off.

"Mr. Sprinkle Rainbow? We'll get you a new one at the store."

Kagura could barely hold back a laugh, "GAY!"

"AM NOT!" Naraku hissed, "But you're FAT and UGLY!"

"SHUT UP!" Kohaku demanded, "We need to think of a plan before they…"

"**NINJA SWARM"**

"OH CRAP!"

Suddenly they were attacked by a bunch of ninja.

"HEY!" Naraku hollered, "What's the big deal here, I did nothing to you guys…yet."

"We were sent to take over this castle."

"By who?"

"Me!" Cried a ninja with long black hair and pale skin, "I am Orochimaru!"

"…what a dumb name." Kagura replied.

"Well…you're an EMO!"

"HAHAHA!" Naraku let out an evil laugh, "What makes you think you can take over my domain?"

"Because, I'm the strongest and most evil being ever."

"That's totally wrong." Kohaku interrupted, "Naraku is the most strongest and evil being. His name translates to Hell."

Orochimaru squinted at him and then replied, "You look like some chick."

"Look who's talking."

"You're dumb!"

"You're stupid!"

Kohaku and Kaugra gave out a sigh.

"This guy is more of a girl than Master Naraku is." Kohaku moaned.

"You dare call our master a girl!" Cried a boy with Black hair about Kohaku's age, he was accompanied by a silver haired boy with glasses.

"Who are you guys?"

"I am Sauske Uchiha, and this is Kabuto."

Kaugra burst out laughing, "Kabuto! What a ridiculous name! POKEMON! HAHAHA!"

"My name is not a pokemon!" Kabuto snarled.

"GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Kabuto! I choose you! Use Harden! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Sasuke and Kohaku just stared at each other for a long time.

"So," Sasuke began, "You work with Mr. Rubber Duckie over there?"

"Yeah, why did you start working with Albino Moron?"

"Because my brother killed our entire clan so I teamed up with Orochimaru to get my revenge by killing him! How about you?"

Kohaku suddenly halted, "Kill…clan...why? Why do I work with this freak? Killing…OH MY GOD! I KILLED MY CLAN! I REMEMBER!"

**WHACK**

Naraku had just swung a bat, hitting Kohaku in the head. Once Kohaku had fallen to the floor he repeated many times over.

"YOU REMEMBER NOTHING! YOU…ARE…MY…MINION!"

**WHACK**

"I…STILL…NEED…YOU…TO…KILL…YOUR…SISTER!"

"I have a sister?" Kohaku asked as his head bled uncontrollably.

**WHACK WHACK WHACK**

"NO! YOU DON'T!"

"Uhhh….I think you killed him." Orochimaru said backing a few feet away.

"Nah…he can't die. He's already dead. I keep him alive with a jewel shard. And that's why I'm so evil."

"You're not as evil as I!" Orochimaru growled, "I put cursed seals on people! They do my bidding from it!"

"Well, I have incarnations!" Naraku pointed to Kagura, "Hey, where's Kanna?" Naraku rushed to a broom closet to find Kannah inside. "There you are! I was wondering where I put you!" He then placed her on the floor.

"You keep her in a closet?" Kagura asked.

"Yeah, so? She loves it in there dontcha Kannah."

"I want souls."

"See, she's the same as ever."

"So you got some female clones. WHO CARES A BOUT CHICKS!"

"GAAAAAAAAY!" Came a moan from the floor.

"Kohaku's got a point." Kaugra said.

Orochimaru's eye twitched a bit, "Back to subject, I have one of the last Uchihas! A special clan of ninja!"

"So, I have Kohaku. One of the last demon slayers from a demon slaying village."

"Oh really? I killed my old master."

"Pffsh, I killed my old lover and got her to stick her boyfriend to a tree."

"I'm one of the legendary three Sannin!"

"I was devoured by demons and reborn as this!"

"I can summon snakes!"

"I can summon poisonous insects!"

"I have a crazy team after me!"

Naraku suddenly stopped. "Wait…you have a crazy team of people after you too?"

"Yeah. YOU TOO!"

Naraku nodded, "I have some monk, a crazy slayer, some chick, a fox demon and this really annoying dog demon."

"OH MY GAWD! I have a demon fox after me too, actually, it's sealed in some kid and he pisses me off."

"Wait, why the hell would someone seal a demon fox be sealed in a kid?"

**CRASH**

"RAAAAAGH OROCHIMARU! SASUKE!" A kid engulfed with red power came charging in.

Orochimaru just pointed, "That's him."

Naraku pulled out a paper and pen, "Note to self, absorb kid-demon's power later."

**CRASH**

"NARAKU! IM HERE TO KILL YOU!" A dog demon burst into the room.

Orochimaru just looked at Naraku, "And that would be?"

"The dog demon."

Inuyasha just looked over at Orochimaru and Naruto turned to Naraku. Both said at the same time, "What the hell? That's some ugly lady!"

"I'M NO WOMAN!" Both lords cried.

"…can someone explain what's going on here?" Inuyasha asked as he poked Kohaku with his sword, "And what happened to him."

Naraku just looked at the ceiling, "oh…he fell."

"It looks more like…"

"I SAID HE FELL!"

"Anyway…what IS going on here?"

"THAT GAY MORON IS TRYING TO STEAL MY CASTLE!"

Orochimaru just bellowed back, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING GAY YOU CROSSDRESSING MORON?"

"Oh that's it!" Naraku summoned his poisonous insects, "ATTACK!"

Orochimaru summoned a big snake and all his ninjas, "ATTACK!"

* * *

A big brawl began to take place, it was crazy. Everyone was dying, there was a lot of curse-words and tons of blood…but we aren't going to show that, instead we go to Naruto and Inuyasha who are just watching.

Naruto goes back to his normal self and turns to Inuyasha, "So…you here for that Naraku guy?"

Inuyasha nodded, "You here for that Orochimaru guy?"

"Yeah, but looks like he's already in a battle…wanna get some ramen?"

"OH MY GOD! I LOVE THOSE NOODLES!"

And so, Naruto and Inuyasha went out to get some ramen, realizing both were big fans. And all through the night, the battle waged on…and at the end it just became a neighborly dispute all about how Orochimaru took Naraku's rake and Naraku took Orochimaru's Garden Hose.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. This was just one I thought had to be done. I mean, we have two really big bad guys who have so much in common. Anyway...REVEIW THIS STORY OR...**NINJA SWARM ON YOUUUU!**


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone, LOOK TO YOUR LEFT! NO! TO YOUR RIGHT! NOW! Look at the center…what the hell are we doing? NOTHING! HAHAHA!! Back to more chapters everyone!

* * *

**Chpt.8 Missing**

It was once again a sunny morning. The sun was happily shining without a cloud in the sky. It was so peaceful that Naraku almost didn't get out of bed. He managed to arise though, drinking his coffee as he went on his daily rounds. First, he went and blasted another village, second, he wrote down his morning plan to get rid of that horrid dog demon Inuyasha, third, make some cookies…without Kohaku seeing him, and then lastly, let the samiyosho loose and feed the Sesshy fans.

He dragged an entire bag filled with Sesshomaru plushies and raw steaks to the pit where the creatures laid. He began to feel an odd feeling as he approached. Perhaps because there was no noise coming from the bowels of the pit, nor was their any smell of those putrid morons or their howls or arms flailing from the sides. Even their big 'I love Sessy' signs were left un-used.

Naraku stuck his head a bit close to the side and yelled out, "Hey! Hey, its lunch time!"

There was no answer.

"HEY! Don't you hear a single word I'm saying?!" He then chucked a steak in the pit, "LUNCH!"

You could hear the steak splat on the ground but no howls or munching.

"…what's the matter with you guys? You sick?" Naraku began to get aggravated, "Oh I get it…You guys are ignoring me! And this is the thanks I get for feeding you and letting you stay in that dank pit! FINE!" He then sat by the side of the grass and huffed.

Kohaku suddenly appeared and approached the demon he called master and fruitcake. He examined what his master was doing but came to no conclusion how this happened.

"Uhhh….master," Kohaku began, "What's going on?"

"Those stupid Sessy fan girls are ignoring me. They think there too good for me. WHOPDIE FREAKIN DO! They can burn for all I care."

Kohaku looked down in the cell and replied, "There's nothing in there, you know."

"?"

Kohaku gave a sigh, "There's no one in the pit."

"WHAT HOW COULD THAT BE?!"

"Maybe because of THE LADDER THAT IS STICKING OUT OF THE SIDE?!"

Naraku suddenly saw the ladder poking from the other side where a punch of footprints were seen rushing away. "Oh…look! A LADDER!"

"ARGH!" Kohaku howled, "I'm ruled by an idiot!"

"Hey! Stop calling me an idiot! I don't need to be called an idiot by anyone. Especially you, you are my servant my slave! You do as I command."

Kohaku perked up by this. Maybe his master wasn't as much of a buffoon as he thought. "Then master, what do you want me to do?"

Naraku gave an evil smile, "GET ME A DAMN SAMMICH WOMAN!"

Kohaku just stared at him and then replied, "I have a better idea, let's find the lost fan-girls."

"But first a SAMMICH!"

"Lord Naraku, we've been through this. SAMMICH is bad spelling. We say sandwich."

"Awww! But SAMMICH sounds cooler!"

"And no one cares!"

Naraku began to whimper by this remark.

"Look, we should go search for the fan girls. There's no telling what kind of damage they could do."

"Well, they couldn't have gotten that far. I mean, they'd have to go some distance to get anywhere…so….Kohaku!"

"Yes master?"

"Gather Kaugra and Kanna, we're going on a hunt."

"Yes my lord." Kohaku then rushed off to gather the minions.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone gathered around the big hole once filled with screaming fan-girls.

"Heheheh…" Naraku evilly chuckled, "Everyone's here then eh?"

"Well duh." Kagura moaned, "You only have three people living in your house."

"You and Kanna don't count as people!" Naraku hollered, "You guys are part of me!"

Kagura gave a moan; she didn't want to deal with Naraku's rants. "Just tell us why we are here."

"Simple, you three is going to go searching for my missing Sesshomaru fans, while I stay here and make flyers."

"Wait….what?" Kohaku was confused.

"Well, I GOT THESE NEW MAJIC MARKERS AND I WANT TO TRY THEM! They are smelly markers!!!!" He then pulled out the box from his robes, "See? The black one smells like liquorish, the red smells like cherries, and the green smells like apples…"

"Wanna know what my favorite smelly marker is?" Kohaku asked.

"What?"

Kohaku immediately grabbed the box, threw it to the ground, and started to stomp on them. "A BROKEN MARKER!!!!"

Naraku gave a pout, "You never let me have any fun!"

"RRRRGH….this is pathetic." Kohaku gave a sigh then took control, "Kaugra, you're going to search for the fan-girls from the sky, Kanna, you make posters…."

"And I stay at home and guard the fortress!" Naraku finished.

"….No….your going with me and we are going to the police station to find out if they found them….or at least put in a missing person thing."

With a slight whine from Naraku, everyone set off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naraku found himself dragged into a police station. He gave a verry long sigh and moan from this.

"UUUUUUGH! Kohaaaaaaakuuuuuuuuuu……"

"If you're going to say you're bored, I don't care."

"But Kooooooohaaaaaaaaaakuuuuuuuuu!"

"Fine," Kohaku pulled out a dollar and handed it to his master, "There's a candy machine over there, go pick out something."

"………………………"

"………What is it?"

"Well……..do they have demons in the machine?"

"No! RRGH! Just come on!" Kohaku dragged Naraku to the front desk, "Hello, we have something to ask."

An officer moved towards them and replied, "Why hello there, what can I do for you?"

"We would like to know if you've seen some people."

"Oh…you've lost someone….hmm….well we have a lot of missing people this month. Here, let me pull out our book." The officer slides a huge book towards them. Printed on the top was **Missing People**. Kohaku opened the contents and began to skim them. Naraku began to look with glee.

"Damn…." Naraku whispered, "Most of these people are those idiots I killed last week when they said to me "Hello Miss". I am not a chick!"

Kohaku finished jotting through and shook his head, "None of these are the people we need to find."

"Oh dear," The officer said in a worried tone as he pulled out a piece of paper. "Why don't you tell me some stuff about them and we'll file a report. So, how many people are missing."

"I'd have to say about…..45."

"45?"

Kohaku gave a nod, "And we made flyers, here." He handed one of the flyers Kanna made. The officer opened it to see HUGE black letters reading **GIVE ME YOUR SOUL**

"And they are all girls."

"All…girls? Are you guys making some sorta dirty movie?!"

"No of course not! They were our demon-dog begone program!"

The officer seemed to calm down, "Oh! Okay, now I understand." The man immediately pulled out a box. "Now, I don't do this every time, but I feel bad for you fellas. Use this, they'll come running back."

Kohaku gave a boy as he grabbed the box, "Thank you. Come on Naraku."

"Hope you find those missing people soon!" Naraku said with an evil grin as the two left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone gathered back to the moat as they started to empty the box.

"Will this really work?" Kohaku asked, "I mean…this stuff is a bit….odd."

"Let's just use it." Kaugra announced, "It's our only chance."

Kohaku gave a sigh, "Fine….Here I go….."

He and Kanna grabbed a bunch of books and her hollered, "WOW KANNA WE HAVE A LOT OF YAOI FAN COMICS HERE! LOOK AT ALL THESE DIFFERENT SEREIES! I MEAN, WE HAVE EVERY SINGLE TYPE A CHICK WOULD WANT! WHOOOPS!" They then dumped them all into the pit, "OH NO! OUR YAOI FOR FANGIRLS ALL FELL DOWN THAT PIT!"

They waited in silence for several seconds. They let the echo of Kohaku's voice disappear….then….

**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH** a horrible howl cried out. A stampede of girls came charging in the distance, each one pushing each other trying to get to their destination first. Once in range, they dived into the pit, letting out girly high pitched screams. Naraku and his minions could only watch.

"WOW!" Kohaku gasped, "That's just insane!"

"I wonder if this is like watching lemmings jump off a cliff." Kagura wondered.

"Mission accomplished." Naraku happily said, "An excellent victory for us! Now, for our next plan….Kohaku…..MAKE ME A DAMN SAMMICH WOMAN!"

* * *

Guys…..I am soooo sorry for running this one late! I am reeeeally sorry! I've been attempting to do some artwork and got carried away. Plus, school has been hard. Other than that….I am back! Be happy! YAAAAAAAAY! And thanks you guys for the letters asking me to continue this. It makes me extremely happy to know that people enjoy my writing. THANK YOU ALL! Next chapter…..Naraku meets THE DREADED CONVENTION! 


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